FROM CHAPTER 1:
"Are you okay, Kangin-shii? You look....pale, and...are you fidgeting?"
"Ah, no. No, hyung. I just..well, just... " Why am I stuttering?? He smiled again.
"Oh good. I'd better go back. Bye Kangin-shii!" He turned and went downstairs.
I really miss you....
Seeing Leeteuk - hyung walk away makes my heart break.
A small talk only? Shit. Is that all? How come you don't talk to me? Why are you always avoiding me these days?
WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME THE WAY WE DID BEFORE? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT KILLS ME HYUNG?!
"Ah, K-Kangin - hyung..." Sungmin?
Oh yeah, there was something you have to explain, young man. And Kyuhyun, too. Don't you smirk just like that.
"I, um, was, ah, going to give back this book..."
"Ah thanks, hyung! I need this for my project. Thank you very much!~"
Silence....Awkward Silence... I sighed and gave up.
"Look at me, you two. Whatever you did there, I heard it all. So you two owe me something."
Their jaw dropped. See, that's what you fucking get when you don't tell me the truth. And you forgot I'm Kangin. I love blackmailing.
Kyuhyun, then, went outside the door, and looked at me. My hands twitched.
"Hyung. Shut up. Don't forget. You also owe me something. Remember?" His voice was in a low tone that even Sungmin can't figure out what the hell he said.
Wait a minute. What the-
"Remember, hyung?" I knew I was pale, and I feel like my body's under attack. I can feel and hear my heart pounding. What did he know again? Did he knew?
Ahhh.. Tchee~ THAT incident.
I cheated on my last match against that puny Ok Taecyeon. Okay, he's not really puny but, damn he was boastful. He, well, got a fight with Shindong-shii and almost killed each other back stage. Unfortunately, nobody was there, but me. I saw the incident. Just because of eye contact, you punched my friend? Motherfucker. I slipped some sleeping powder () to his drink. And to my surprise, Kyuhyun, who sang the national anthem with Yesung and Ryeowook, went also backstage. He saw me doing that. All I can do is smile, and put a finger on my lips as a sign of silence. Next thing you know, well, of course, I won.
Hahaha!~ I laughed so hard because of relief! Phew~
"Yeah, yeah I know that. Okay, I let this one pass. But make sure, you two, whatever business you had there. Well, just...aish, just make sure you won't be expelled."
He nodded, and Sungmin also.
"Thank you, hyung!~"
"Aish~ Stop making that aegyo thing, Sungmin! Act like a guy, even just in front of me! Jeez!"
Hmm... Heechul told me to find his cat, Heebum. Well, he's not really that important, but since Ho Dong - hyung haven't assigned me anything yet, I accepted Heechul's request.
But I never thought...
Well, as a matter of fact, I'm surprised to see him there. It's been quite a while since we talked.
Aish~ Small talk. I hit my head with my hand. (
Well, ever since that thing happened...I covered my face and resisted to cry. This is wrong...
Oops~ I covered my mouth. I just cursed out loud. Seriously, I'm an idiot to do that.
I rushed to the cafeteria. Thank God, we can go in and out of it. I ordered ramen, since that's the only Korean food available, and went upstairs.
Heechul went towards me and put a hand over my shoulders. Oh my...I almost dropped my tray. Tsk~
"Where the hell have you been, angel?" He asked. I stared at him, confused.
"You told me I had to look for Heebum, right?"
"Ah, yeah~ well, I did tell you that, but I never mentioned that you can't eat lunch unless you found him."
"Yeah, I know. But I just searched-"
"Anyway, he will come back."
I sighed. Well, it was my fault that I accepted this thing.
So, they talk and talk and talk. Then, Siwon and the new guy, Kibum, who introduced nicely, went back to the dormitory. Yesung and Ryeowook were heading to the Music room for their class. Eunhyuk and Donghae, as usual, went to the studio room for dance practice. Shindong went home ()
Which leaves me, Hankyung, and Heechul.
"So how's it going?" Heechul asked. I shrugged and went back eating.
"Y'know, me and Hankyung-shii are official." I spit out what I was eating. Literally. Heechul laughed, causing him to fall from his chair. Hankyung helped him, and, yeah, he's still laughing.
"WHAT???!!!" I shouted. Hankyung got a tissue and tapped it to my lips.
"Why? Too early to tell you?" Heechul said.
"No, but, I'm eating! And you know how sensitive I am with these kinds of situations. I'm your hyung."
“Yeah, my hyung who is 9 days older than me.”
"Um, I need to answer this. It's my mom." Hankyung said, flipping the phone.
"Ahh…Well, it's... how can I put it? Ah, it’s tremendously stupid, at the same time…fun…and I feel relieved…”
"Oh c’mon? You had dated boys in the past.”
"At least…well, he…I hope he’s not like that stupid singer at the church-" He cursed under his breath.
"So, you're not really going back to church because of him, aren't you?"
"NO! HELL NO! If that bastard is still singing in that church, I will not go back."
So, you're like this because of Lee Hongki?
"Do you still love that bastard?"
"NO FUCKING WAY, HYUNG."
"So, just ignore him, and just, y'know move on."
"No. What he did to me was out of line."
"Well, that, I can tell that it's indeed true..."
You see, Lee Hongki is a good guy. He's a singer for the church where we attend. He and Heechul dated for almost a year. But something happened. Even our clique despised him.
They were dating, so usually, it's normal. Then, there was this group of girls who approached Hongki. So, yeah, they talked to him, and so on and so forth.
When the girls asked who was Heechul, he said, "Oh he's just a friend, y'know."
Heechul knew he had to cover up their relationship, so he let that pass.
A week after that, Heechul and the rest of us went to an amusement park. Everything was okay, but...
We saw Hongki with one of those girls whom he met last week.
Heechul, of course, went towards them and looked at them straight in the eye. There was a conflict, blah blah blah, but what happened next was really out of line.
Hongki punched Heechul on the face. Well, Heechul had no choice but to fight back. But Hongki grabbed a LED board from one of the stalls and hit Heechul's face.
That was really out of line. And Hongki even shouted "WE'RE THROUGH, BITCH!"
That's why I can't blame Heechul for being like this. Well, that's the past already, anyway.
"Hmm...How about you hyung? When will you ever have someone like me? Ever since you dated that girl, what's her name? Lim Yoona... I have never seen you going out with someone lately. "
"Hyung, let's race to the beach! I'm gonna beat you this time!" He said, excitedly.
"Ya! You shut up! I will win again!"
We grabbed our bikes and, we raced.
The sunset was glorious and we don't mind if we will be scolded later. As long as we are together, nothing… Nothing will be painful. This moment is what I cherish.
Me with him.
We arrived by the beach at 7pm, I think.
We sat down. The sands shimmered as the sun goes down gradually.
Wow... a quarter moon, and the stars... This was an amazing view. The waves hugged the shore smoothly.
Oh, I should have brought my jacket. It's freezing here. He stood up and took off his jacket.
"Hyung, here..." He placed his jacket onto my shoulders. He hugged me from the back. I knew I was blushing.
"Here, I know you're getting cold." His warm breath caressing my nape. It felt like I was....
"Oi, hyung!~ HYUUUUNNGGG???"
"Ya! What the hell?!"
"You seemed to be daydreaming." I looked around and saw the wall clock. It's already 5pm. Heechul looked worried. Hankyung, too.
"Ah, let's go. I might need a rest."
I went to my room and took a bath. As I was searching for my pajamas, I looked at the portrait beside my laptop. It was that day, ah no, that night...
The night when he said he will say something to me, after the party. Ah, well, he passed out. And I had to take him home afterwards. It was his first time to drink. Middle school. Yeah, that memory is still fresh inside my head. I looked out the window... It's still a crescent moon...
I went to bed but I couldn't sleep. This is not good. I should be up by 4am.
Ho Dong - hyung will be angry.
What? It's 11pm already? How long have I? 4 hours? This is really not good. I might oversleep…
I keep thinking of you...I'm crying because of you.
I can't sleep because of you.
I blame you for everything. I should not feel this way towards you. This is bullshit.
What were you going to tell me that night?
What the hell?! Did someone call me?
I heard my name....
Aish~ it's 11pm. I must be imagining things. Who would call me anyway? Am I stupid?
Well, I can't go back to sleep. It's as if someone was waking me up.
I'd better study then. So, I could fall asleep.
Okay? My cellphone? There you are…
No fucking way...
"Don't ask. "
"Can't sleep, hyung?"
“But, Ho Dong-hyung-”
“I don’t care if I oversleep. Wait, do you want me to hang up?”
“Oh, no, no, no, please don’t…”
"Do you want me to sing the Lullaby so that you can sleep?"
"Ah, OUR lullaby? But I'm the one who's singing it for you."
"Yes~ But you need to sleep. You need to wake up early..."
“Oh okay. Maybe it’s a bad time. I shouldn’t have called.”
“NO! NO HYUNG! DON’T HANG UP!”
“Stop shouting, idiot.” He laughed. I really liked hearing that. Wow~ It’s really a long time since I heard that.
“Sing it to me.”
“No hyung. Sing it. WITH ME.”
“If the stars collide tonight…”
“If the moon won’t shine so bright…”
“Won’t you be here beside me?”
“Won’t you kiss me goodnight? If my love fades away…”
“Then, I’d rather die instead…”
“But I know that it won’t happen at all…”
“Because I’m a fool…a fool loving you…”
"Hyung? Jungsoo - hyung?"
Aish~ He's sleeping. I could hear his breathing. I smiled to myself. It's like I'm beside him. Damn it.